when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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