I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
