We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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