He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
