I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
