ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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