Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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