We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you would pick up someone in the library
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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