I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
