That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
