Got a toothbrush?
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
