The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
