i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
