Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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