I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize