the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize