she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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