please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize