Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
