Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The power of my boobs compel you
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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