dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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