So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
