okay pat passed out under dana's car
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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