I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
