Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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