I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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