I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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