My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I love you. Go after that dick
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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