id be glad to
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
