i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's no shave November. This is our time.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
