More tranny stories later!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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