at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Dick very happy bro
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
