so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
