Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
