Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
