some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
