Cold hands, warm shart.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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