My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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