I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
