i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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