If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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