STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
sex in a hospital.. check
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
