I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
