I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
