His pubic hair was longer than his dick
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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