btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
