If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
