We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
