as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize