There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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