Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
