I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
