I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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