You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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