Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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