Is it because I queefed?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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