i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she peed on how many people?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So here I am, sexting at work.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
