sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
