Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize