I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
