Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
